Pleasure school for romance heroes
Jul 4th, 2007 by Lynne
This’ll probably go right over the heads of the guys I know who read this blog, but the rest of y’all may have seen back cover blurbs that talk about how the hero has been “trained to pleasure” or schooled in the erotic arts in boudoirs all across Europe. You mostly see this kind of thing in historical *cough-Avon-cough* romances.
Being a practical sort, I’ve got to wonder what that looks like. What would the training involve? Push-ups, of the Tenacious D variety? A variant of wax on, wax off, using only the hero’s tongue? Before the hero graduates, does he have to go through some kind of fight scene like in Enter the Dragon, where he has to pleasure waves and waves of women, culminating in a huge boss fight with the owner of the bordello?
Personally, I think making the hero sexually experienced to an extreme degree misses the point. A lover who has seen it all and done it all times a hundred but is not fully paying attention to what his partner is enjoying — or not enjoying, as the case may be — will be nowhere near as much fun in bed than, say, a less “skilled” person who IS fully engaged in the experience.
ROFLMAO! Great visuals, Lynne. Especially the licking one. You’re right, a man who is fully engaged–in every sense–is going to be much more fun than someone who’s trying tricks to *inflame* the heroine. Although there is something to be said about tricks once in awhile. *eg*
Okay. Okay! We can turn off ESPN. Geez.
Baby, I’m-a make you drop your nail file.
:-)
I don’t think I’ve read those books yet (digging desperately through my TBR pile to make sure)….wouldn’t the hero eventually get a little bored with it all???
The visual I just got of a hero in sex school using something like a CPR dummy just really scarred me.
I’d like to thank you for invoking that visual.
Hee hee.
Edie, I guess I should know better than to cross karate movies, video games, and romance novels, huh? :-)
John, what was that about ESPN? I’m confuuuuused!
Hi, Ericka! You’d think, wouldn’t you? Maybe these plots were a trend a while back. I sure seemed to run into a lot of books with those elements, there for a while.
OMG, Mel! I hadn’t thought about a CPR dummy. The credit’s all yours on that one. :-)
LOL!!!
Crap. This means I have to overhaul my entire exercise regimen, doesn’t it?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to find a calisthenic that improves your attentiveness?
James, you slay me. :-)
It took me a few minutes for what you did not say directly to finally sink in, but once it did, I laughed so loud I woke John!
Lynne, I’ve fallen woefully behind in reading blogs and am taking this morning to get a bit caught up. The RWA thing makes me nuts, can’t think about it. But I had to stop and tell you that the title of this blog? Gave me a killer plot notion ;-)
Hiya, Chris! I’d love to know what period of time it’s set in!
I’m thinking something set in the far east — hadn’t thought of a particular time period yet, but something in the British Colonial period maybe (for some reason, Burma comes to mind?). Seriously. This is distracting me from what I mean to be doing right now, but the images are almost overwhelming. I think it’s being fed by books like the Red Tent and that Esther book…
Oh, wow. :-) And are you really thinking about a “fight” scene?
Nah…I’m thinking the test is a virgin ;-) I’m not sure if this is novel worthy, or if it’s more of a short story/novella kind of idea, but the whole idea is sort of rife with fantastic opportunities to turn some of the notions on their heads, right? I *know* I read a book once where the eunuch was a romantic lead of all things… not *the* romantic lead, but one of them.
Oh, if you remember which book that was, let me know! I’m awfully curious about that. Was it a Red Sage novella, by any chance?
No, I don’t think so. I’m pretty sure it wasn’t romance even of the erotic variety. More along the lines of historical epic? If I figure it out, I’ll definitely let you know.