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Lynne Simpson

Non Omnis Moriar

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My ironing board has disappeared into a parallel universe

Jan 19th, 2007 by Lynne

A few weeks ago, we did a flurry of cleaning because we were expecting visitors from out of town. Things can get pretty chaotic when we’re trying to do several months’ worth of cleaning in, oh, three days, but something seriously went wrong this time. We appear to have misplaced the ironing board. I discovered this today when I finally decided to hang these gorgeous raw silk curtains I bought last year and it turned out that they needed to be ironed first.

I’ve looked everywhere, including all the porches, and the ironing board is just flat gone. We have a big house, but it is, after all, finite. There are only so many places where an object as large as an ironing board could be stashed. It’s not something one can easily throw away by mistake, either.

We’ve already discovered two hidden rooms in this house. Can a gateway to a parallel universe be far behind? It certainly would explain a lot!

On Edit: As of January 30th, I’ve had to close comments on this post due to spammer twits who’ve gotten hold of the URL. 

Posted in Miscellaneous

12 Responses to “My ironing board has disappeared into a parallel universe”

  1. on 19 Jan 2007 at 2:37 pm1John

    Check it for goatees, and make sure you didn’t end up with the *evil* ironing board.

    I don’t want to have to come home and reverse the polarity on the warp core.

  2. on 19 Jan 2007 at 2:44 pm2Michelle

    Two hidden rooms? Oooooh, sounds like a GREAT house. I would count the odd disappearing ironing board worth it :)

  3. on 19 Jan 2007 at 7:07 pm3James

    Check your wardrobe. And bring a potion in case you need something to throw.

  4. on 20 Jan 2007 at 7:19 pm4Lynne

    Damn! The Sears warranty on that warp core just expired, too!

  5. on 20 Jan 2007 at 7:22 pm5Lynne

    Hi, Michelle! The house is only 33 years old, so it’s not eccentric in any really cool ways. It’s just built very strangely. One of the secret rooms is empty. The other one is about knee high in empty beer bottles. We can’t get to the latter — it is completely sealed up. We only found out about the contents when some roofing contractors had the roof off and looked inside.

  6. on 20 Jan 2007 at 7:23 pm6Lynne

    As a matter of fact, James, I finally found the ironing board in the walk-in closet — which is right next to the secret room with all the beer bottles!

  7. on 20 Jan 2007 at 7:23 pm7Lynne

    And I had looked at that same spot in the closet about eight times before I found the ironing board. Crazy.

  8. on 21 Jan 2007 at 10:17 am8John

    “I’m not the ironing board you’re looking for. You can go about your business. Move along!”

  9. on 22 Jan 2007 at 2:51 pm9Pam Skochinski

    I was going to suggest along the wall in a closet, that’s where we store ours!

    Glad you found it. . . boy, your house sounds so much more exciting than mine. Hidden rooms. Is there a story in there or what?

  10. on 22 Jan 2007 at 7:19 pm10Lynne

    Hi, Pam! Our house does have a bit of a reputation around here. We were told that it was built by a guy who planned to use it for wild parties. Given how it was decorated when we bought it, I could easily believe that.

    If you planned to throw a decadent bash in 1973, how would YOU want your pad to look? :-)

  11. on 29 Jan 2007 at 3:04 pm11Joyce Ellen Armond

    Dude,

    Losing your ironing board is a cause to rejoice.

    Not quite as nice a cause as your placing 2nd in the Indiana Golden Oppurtunity contest, though!

    Saw it in RWR and wanted to say congrats!

  12. on 29 Jan 2007 at 4:21 pm12Lynne

    I’m glad you stopped by, Joyce! Thanks for the congratulations — I haven’t seen the announcement in RWR yet.

    And congrats to you, too! Not only for your way cool story in Quantum Kiss but also for scoring an 89 from Mrs. Giggles on Bonds of Darkness. Very cool!

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