Lynne Simpson

My apologies if you’ve seen this already, but if not, this Lego animation of Lord Vader’s attempt to order food in the cafeteria on the Death Star is well worth watching. Enjoy. :-)

No, it’s not some new puzzle or computer game or TV show on History/History International. (Well, I am somewhat addicted to Engineering an Empire, but that doesn’t count.)

I am addicted to weeding.

At the old house, the whole YARD was made of weeds, so pulling them up would’ve been futile, and we would’ve been left with big patches of bare red clay. Now that we have a house with an actual lawn and landscaping, any weeds that appear are much more obvious.

No matter what I’m doing — walking the dogs, checking the mail, sitting by the pool, whatever — I simply cannot refrain from pulling up any weeds I see. It’s ridiculous, to the point that John giggles every time he sees me veer off and head purposefully toward the landscaping.

There is an end to this, right? If I pull up enough of them by the roots, I’ll eventually run out, won’t I?

This is as close as we’ve been able to get without upsetting their parents.

Or, How I Broke My Glasses and Both of Us Took a Dunk in the Lake

So we bought this canoe yesterday, and since the weather was halfway decent this afternoon, we decided to take it out for a spin. Everything initially went off without a hitch. We climbed into the canoe and took off, no problem. Within a few minutes, we got the hang of steering, and then we were off exploring. We finally got to see the Isle of Goose Poop up close, too!

A while later, we started thinking maybe this boating thing wasn’t so hard, after all. We hadn’t tipped over the canoe, nor had we run it aground. Everything seemed rosy. But we had forgotten one thing. We had no idea how to get OUT of the boat.

Oh, maneuvering the boat so that it was close to the bank was no big deal. Even keeping it in a stable position next to the shore wasn’t hard. The problem came when I had one foot on the shore and the other on the boat, and then the boat started heading back out into the water. Splitsville!

If I’d had any sense, I would’ve…hmm…I’m not sure what I would’ve done. I think the trick may be to get out gently and not put yourself in the position of one foot on land and one foot on a rapidly receding watercraft. Once that starts, I think you’re pretty much screwed.

When I (stupidly) tried to get back into the boat, I did it a little too forcefully, which tipped the whole thing backward. John’s elbow got up close and personal with my glasses, and if I don’t have a black eye by tomorrow I’ll be very much surprised. We both ended up flat on our asses in about six inches of water, with the little boat bobbing cheerfully nearby.

The good news is that our combo paddle/oar thingie floats. We found this out because they both went flying when John fell out of the boat backward. Cool. We had been wondering about that.

Also, John’s Treo was safe inside a ziplock bag, thank goodness, so it didn’t get wet.

I have no idea if our neighbors saw us or not. Heard us, probably yes. I bet our cackles — and screams, initially — were heard halfway around the lake. :-)

Sounds like something Fisher Price would sell, doesn’t it? :-) As a matter of fact, if a Hello Kitty canoe had been available, I would’ve been ALL over that, and I bet a Fisher Price one would’ve been almost as cute.

When I was at the mall earlier today buying some jeans for John, I happened to pass by a new sporting goods store that had tents and canoes for sale. I couldn’t pass up an opportunity to browse, of course. We’ve been planning to buy a teeny little boat of some kind ever since we moved into this lakeside house, but everything we’ve looked at has been too heavy or too likely to dump us into the water.

Well, the 10′ NuCanoe I bought today looks to be just about perfect. It’s flat and wide like a kayak but open inside like a canoe. According to everything I’ve read about them, they’re tough to tip over and nearly impossible to sink. Better yet, this model only weighs 62 pounds, so John and I can easily haul it out of the water and secure it to the back fence with a cable.

They’re delivering the canoe this afternoon, so we’re going to take a very short boat ride today if the weather holds out. We’ll probably take the older camera phone with us so we can photograph the Isle of Goose Poop from close up. There’s no way we’re taking the Sony with us. Expensive camera plus two clueless n00bs on their first boat ride? Disaster waiting to happen.

Stand by for our “Name That Boat!” contest. :-)